How Not to Be a Horrible Person to the Opposite Sex

Through the magic of spam, my e-mail address somehow ended up in the hands of someone who sells secrets for seducing women. In reading the subject lines of these e-mails, I can't help but wonder... What kind of horrible person would actually buy crap like that? They say things like:

"Learn the secret to hacking women's brains! These few words will make any woman want you instantly! Learn the scientific secret to controlling women's minds!"

The implication being that women are video games to which you can find cheat codes, or computers that you can learn to program to do whatever you want. That they're all exactly the same, and what works on one will work on all of them the same way. The further implication being that women are not people. That they don't have thoughts or feelings or free will. They're just playthings, good for a night of fun. Instead of popping a new game into the console when you're bored, just "play" a woman instead tonight, then toss her back in the pile when you're done.

The worst one of all, though, was this: "This is the seduction video that women don't want you to see!" Think about that for a second. According to the company selling this product, women don't want you doing this to them. They're not only telling you this, they're actually using it as a selling point for their service. She's not choosing to be with you. You're forcing her to. "Use these techniques to sleep with any woman... whether she wants to or not!"

Of course, I don't believe for a second that these "cheat codes for controlling women's minds" actually work, because, well... women aren't computers or video games. They're human beings. And each one is different. They like different things, they want different things, and they respond to different things.

And that's what makes women--or just people in general, for that matter--worth pursuing or spending time with at all: the fact that they're all different. And interesting. No matter who it is you're talking to, chances are they have something interesting they can share with you. Maybe they have a lot they can share. Maybe even a lifetime. Or maybe not. Maybe they just know a cool joke about eels, or something like that. The point is, if you go around approaching people with a pre-determined formula for interaction, whether it works or not, you'll never get to find out what they might have had to offer.

What's more, you too are a unique and interesting person with something to offer. But if everything you say and do is mapped out by this "proven technique" you found online, then, even if somehow it DOES work, they don't like YOU, they like a series of steps that you followed. What's sexy about that?

So, in conclusion, so-called "seduction secrets" are atrocious, and dehumanizing to both men and women, but mostly to women. Approaching a woman that way assumes that literally the only thing worth finding out about her is what she looks like naked. And if you take this approach, most likely the only thing you WILL find out about her is what her drink feels like when it's thrown in your face. So let's all try to avoid that, and respect one another as human beings. Thanks!