You want to be successful, don't you? And creative? You may be stuck in a dead-end job filing TPS reports from your cubicle, but secretly, you've always preferred the creative lifestyle. Art and stuff. That's totally your jam. You look around at other people, doing art and stuff, and getting paid way more than you. And their bosses don't get on their case about the TPS reports, because their bosses are too busy doing art and stuff too, and getting famous in the process. So what does it take to be successful and/or creative? What are these people's lives like? Well, you're in luck. For your edification, I've compiled a list of 10 things that all (or most, or some) successful and/or creative people do.
1. Laundry. I guarantee you, those successful and/or creative people are doing laundry. Depending on how many clothes they own, or how particular they are about cleanliness, they might do so anywhere from every couple of days to every couple of weeks. Bill Gates does laundry. Mick Jagger does all kinds of laundry. Well, no, actually, they probably both hire people to do their laundry for them, because they're ridiculously wealthy. But regardless, their laundry is still getting done. Do you do laundry? Well, then, you totally have something in common with Bill Gates and Mick Jagger, or whatever successful and/or creative person you admire most.
2. Eat ice cream. Successful people love ice cream. So do creative people. And, as a bonus, famous people love ice cream, too, and so do geniuses. Unless they're lactose intolerant. But even then, they probably like cake or something. Or pizza. Almost everybody likes pizza. And if they don't, they're probably not worth emulating anyway. What's the point of being a famous and successful creative genius if you can't have pizza, ice cream, and cake?
4. Drink themselves into oblivion. Hemingway created an absinthe-champagne cocktail called Death in the Afternoon, and would sometimes drink five of them in a day. Hunter S. Thompson not only did drugs beyond your wildest imagination, he also drank copious amounts of Wild Turkey. Poet Dylan Thomas reportedly drank 18 whiskeys a couple of nights before he died. And Andre the Giant could drink all of the above before breakfast and still have room for a case of beer. All of these people were highly successful, and highly creative. Of course, I'm not advocating drinking yourself into an early grave, in the least bit. But you wanted to know what successful and/or creative people do, and... well, that's what a lot of them do. Sorry about that.
5. Procrastinate and not finish what they start. Orson Welles spent the better part of 30 years shooting footage for a film version of Don Quixote, which never saw the light of day. My favorite author, Douglas Adams, had a writing process that was so staggeringly slow and full of lunch breaks that it's a wonder he ever got anything finished at all. He died before he could finish writing The Salmon of Doubt, which I will never forgive him for, because I really want to know how it ends. Jane Austen left two different novels uncompleted at her death, and Schubert had a full six years to finish his famous Unfinished Symphony. This is a great comfort to me in general, and particularly now. To be honest, I chose the number 10 for this list rather arbitrarily, because it sounded good. When I decided to write it, I could really only think of maybe two. I was going to flesh it out to get the full 10, but after writing #3, I kind of want to go binge-watch some Game of Thrones instead. So I'm going to let the list stand at five, content in the knowledge that this is exactly what successful and/or creative people do all the time. I feel better already.
